Mommy Confession: I need a mom tribe

mom-tribeA friend posted another blogger’s post about finding a mom tribe, and it really resonated with me–and numerous others judging by the comments her share received.  You see, I didn’t realize how isolating being a mom can be, nor did I realize how much I would wish for my own mom tribe.

With the birth of BK, our social calendar completely changed.  I didn’t think it would; I underestimated my desire to keep the baby on schedule and to actually get some sleep at night!

Even now when the children are 5 & 3 and their grandparents keep them overnight, my social life is far from what is was pre-children.  Sure, we take the opportunity to get together with friends who don’t have children, but I’m ready to go home and go to bed by 10:00 now!  After 5 years of motherhood, I just want to catch up on some of that sleep those darling Keller Kids have cost me!

For some reason, I also thought that motherhood would instantly unite me with other mothers of children the same age as my children.  I envisioned play dates with several other moms and their children; the children happily playing or crafting away while the we moms sat back, chatted, and proudly watched our little people.  Somehow, that hasn’t been my reality.  For this, I mostly blame my job.  You see, the mom groups in the area that I’ve looked at joining meet during the week–while I’m at work.  So, no magic mom tribe happening there.

Ultimately, I think my lack of mom tribe is my own fault.  I’ve let the treadmill of life get in the way:  we work and run a few errands during the week, and I clean and try to catch up with the household items like a mad lady on the weekends.  Friendships take work, and I’ve completely failed at reaching out to other moms and arranging events.

Some might be wondering what exactly a mom tribe is.  Shoot, I guess I’m kind of wondering that, too, since I don’t actually belong to one!  To me, it’s a group of friends who can bounce parenting ideas off of one another, feel safe that their personal discussions won’t turn into gossip, and who can just get together and have fun!  Ladies who drop by and don’t care that your coffee table is dusty and fingerprint smeared.  Ladies whose children can be just as wild as my own!

I have friends, obviously, but I’ve let those bonds weaken.  That’s on me.  I used to be the planner, and I’ve not been planning too many social events lately.

Of course, I have Mr. Keller, but husbands aren’t really meant to be best friends.  They’re husbands:  a relationship with its own level of emotional intimacy.

I’m developing a plan of attack!  I’m setting up lunch dates with friends.  I’m going to put myself out there and talk to more moms at my children’s events.  I am going to start making more effort, and I sure hope it pays off!  If you feel like me, know that I’m cheering you on, too!  Shoot, if you feel the same way I do, let me know!  We could do lunch or set up a play date with kids!